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Insights, application, wisdom and inspiration from peer-to-peer learning in my Business and Communications Classes, Lectures, Seminars and Consulting Practice.
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Diablo Canyon Nuclear Power Plant
We did Change Management using the OCI (Organizational Culture Inventory)
10 comments:
I honestly had a really hard time understanding what we should have received from this class today. I felt as if I didn't truly understand how to redirect someone's strength and force that they might be directing towards you. I would really like if someone could explain it to me so that I understand it more. It seems as if we are being taught to put our feelings aside in situations and focus more towards the other person and how they are feeling at the time. I see this as very beneficial if it's something that isn't involving you, but when you are the one that might be attacked all the time, how do you effectively use this strategy and how do people really respond to it? Do they eventually cool off after a while and not rag on you so much, or do they just give up talking to you because they feel that you aren't "really listening"?
I agree with diana, and do not fully understand this concept. It seems to me that we are supposed to put aside our feelings and not really have an opinion on the matter when in a confrontation. Which i dont agree with because i am very oponionated and like to have input on everything. I dont know if that makes me a bad listener or what but in certain situations i would like to be able to express how i feel. However i can understand in some situations, for example when someone is mourning we need to put aside what we think and how we feel about the situation and focus completly on that person who is mourning. So i think that the whole "Akido" (stepping aside) thing only applies in special circumstances.
Capture
1) Column A but not column B leads to columbine.
2) Emotion "Akido"- rederecting someoenes feelings.
Relevance
I alco didn't fully understand the "Akido" process. I think there are certain times that it should and shouldn't be used. Personally, if I was in Tyson's situation I would have told the mother in-law what I thought. I would want to clearly get my point across to let her know where I stand. I wouldn't want her to think bad of me all the time. Sometimes, I feel it is necessary to stand up and be bold with someone!
February 7, 2007
Today in communications we had a very hands on lesson that taught us the importance of practicing “emotional Aikido” versus “emotional Wang Chung.” This was a really fun class and important lesson for me to learn personally. I think often it is so easy to become defensive and hurt each other's feelings because we want the other person to know exactly how we feel or perceive them to be. It is very important to be patient with people and understand where they are coming from; it is also important to cool down and think about what we say before we do or say something we might regret (emotional Wang Chung).
In applying this principal I notice that I am more patient and understanding. I try to take the energy of the person I am listening to and use that to communicate with them instead of getting worked up and using a lot more energy than needed. I find that I let the little things “roll off my back” and I am not as uptight.
I taught this principal to Tyson. He thought it was pretty interesting and he could easily see how it is important when communicating.
Apply the Concepts of Aikido in Communication
It is always an interesting experience for me since I came to study abroad that I always learn a lot of my culture more in the outside of my country. Today in the class, I also had this interesting experience. I thought that I knew about what Aikido is. However, soon after I learned about the effective use of Aikido's concepts in communication skill, I realized that how much I could learn many useful principles and applications from familiar cultures like Aikido. It inspired me to learn more about principles and wisdom from things around me that I often take for granted.
* "breathing", lay in the use of timing and the application of the whole body's strength to one point.---- Quotation from Wikipedia
o in communication, I can concentrate my attention onto on point, which is to listen to words and feeling of the person who I am talking with without wondering about my own interest and concern in my mind.
* "Finding harmony in conflict" ---- Quotation from Wikipedia ----
o By using the opponent power into , people can stay away from hurting others as well as themselves in Aikido. I can apply this principle in communication. Responding to aggressive feeling with aggressive feeling brings about a double measure of aggressive feeling. Even though I do not take the aggressive feeling brought by others in myself, I can reflect their feeling with empathic attitude by showing them understanding in communication.
Key Principles
• Stop trying to defend yourself in an aggressive way.
• Use AND instead of BUT.
• Let their energy run its course, and try to keep their energy away from you.
• Redirect their energy back to them (Akido).
• Your energy is influenced by who you are.
• If you have Column A without Column B, then you get Columbine.
Relevance
• These concepts are so important because they made me realize how much I don’t know about communicating.
• We don’t always have to defend ourselves in communication.
Apply
• Like Tyson’s relationship with his mother-in-law we all have strained relationships. We need to learn how to redirect the person’s energy away from us, so we can really see how they are feeling. We have to peel away the layers.
Teach
• I taught this concept to my dad.
Report
• My dad laughed out loud when he heard we were trying to deflect other people’s energy. He liked how I told him that our energy influences who we are.
Many have commented that they don't understand why using aikido in communications can be so effective if we can't ever meet our needs in a confrontation. I agreed with them at first, but now I'm starting to see it in a different light.
No goog can come from confronting a confrontationalist, as they are confroting you. The only thing that will be accomplished is that both parties will end up on the defensive, and neither will get their objectives met. However, if we use Aikido communicating, eventually the communication assailant will have to stop "attacking" simply because they are either to frustrated or to exhausted to continue. It is at this point when we can finally voice our needs, and get successful two-way communication, simply because in a confrontation both sides see only a win/lose situation. However, once the moment of extreme emotion is passed, a win/win solution can finally be achieved.
Wait, so the morning and afternoon classes are on the same post now? I'm not sure how I feel about this...
Anyway, class Friday: We stood in a circle and went "Huah! Huah!" while we hoped we didn't hurt anyone (by making them laugh too hard and end up with an aneurysm or something). I go more in depth on this (and music, and side effects of too much candy, and roomate habits) on my blog post for this class. Sorry, it's pretty long and I'm feeling rather ill and yeah. But I do get to a point at the end of the post, so you could probably just read that and I think I'm going to go to bed now. You might be able to click on the link and have it open, or copy/paste it in the address bar if that doesn't work. Peace.
http://doyougetmenow.blogspot.com/2007/02/isnt-enough-to-know-that-i-ruined-pony.html
princples learned:
1. we need to learn to understand what is going off in other people's minds when communicating with them
2. don't be defensive, redirect anger somewhere else
apply these princples:
do not direct my anger at people, and direct anger coming towards me elsewhere
report:
we want to try to control our anger and in doing so when we are angry, we would like to learn to be able to project it somewhere else than at eachother
When change is inevitable we can either stay on our last ridge that we have surmounted or begin the decent or continue onto the next summit only realizing its going to be harder than the first ridge to succeed at climbing. That is how are lives go I feel in that you have to be continually progressing in we are to grow and develop and be the people we are always envious of.
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